2003-05-14
Spent Mother’s Day with the Flemings. Hoor. Ay. A biiiig table surrounded by cousins we never speak to and not a drop of alcohol in sight. But in addition to being increasingly dull, it's getting increasingly, well... Grandad has Alzheimer's, see.I don't know if you've ever known anyone who has Alzheimers before. I hadn't up till now, but I can attest that it's just like watching a snowman melt. Grandad's in the early stages, so he's still, y'know, not bad. But it's still so fucking sad watching this once vibrant man wilt like a flower in front of my eyes and knowing that there's no chance for rain.
So you sorta start to let go, right? Just a little at a time. But you can't let go too fast, because hey! Grandad's not totally gone yet! Wouldn't want to miss out on what you can still take advantage of, would you?
That being my philosophy, I was chatting with Grandad on Mother's Day in the living room of their house. And Grandad, no matter when you talked to him, could ALWAYS link everything that you were talking about back to the Air Force. We were talking about how Ryan's and Robin's commencement speech got rained out this past weekend, and of course it begins the same way every time: "You know, Andy, that reminds me of something I learned when I was in the service." Oh, Grandad.
It was a little saying about flying, but this time he couldn't remember it. And I sat there for an eternity watching him while he tried to "If you're going to... no... when looking... no no..." and eventually it just ended with, "Well, that's your memory." "Yep." And I burried my face in the newspaper.
Some five minutes or so later, Nana's serving dessert and I'm still reading the paper. She comes over to Grandad and she's putting the napkin in his lap and the fork in his hand ("Is that okay, Walt?" He's cheerful. "Yes! Thank you!") and I'm still engrossed in the news as that first bite of pie stops short in front of his face.
"Ah! If you're going to fly, look to the sky!"
"What?"
He went on to explain that that's how you knew it was safe to proceed to take a plane up - clear skies. And in true Grandad fashion, he tied that back to the rained out commencement and how they should've planned ahead a little better.
I laughed in spite of myself because even I had forgotten what we were talking about. I just said, "Damn right, Grandad." And he smiled and went back to his pie.
The first instinct is that wow, maybe he'll beat this thing, but we all know he won't. But still, moments of clarity like that... I couldn't describe a more phenomenal rush.
"If you're going to fly, look to the sky." I'll keep that in mind.
-Andy