2004-08-18
* My mom went to Vegas a few days ago and got me some good motherly gifts, including some Corona boxers and a small pamphlet for where to pick up whores. Mandy, $45, 702-733-1748. Wow. And Bobbie (also $45, 702-388-4449) looks a lot like Amy Richardson. Whoever said money can't buy you love had probably just won a game of Dungeons and Dragons.* I got a new picture phone. Great fun, but I'm still in that stage where I obsessively play with it ALL the time. Like while I'm driving home to STL from central IL. I heard that rough, grooved, you're-about-to-veer-off-the-highway sound more times than is fit for two hours and forty-five minutes of driving. Either way, swing by so I can take a piture of you that'll show up whenever you call.
* The freebie that came with $173 worth of textbooks is the "Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie" campus kit. Sounds lame, but it's a vast improvement over last year's "Boat Trip" kit. Opening it right now... okay. Packet of Ramen noodles. Token, but nice... All right! Cold medicine! Leave it to Missouri to push free meth ingredients on their new students... Clearasil energizing acne scrub for men. HA. Maybe for the freshmen... Obligatory AOL CD... Oh my. Magazine subscription pamphlet, and the four highlighted magazines in the men's campus kit are ESPN magazine, Rolling Stone (the cover is conveniently a topless Britney Spears), Maxim, and Playboy. Nice to see that someboy minored in marketing.
* Chris got me two HUGE cocktail glasses. Like, holding an entire fifth of gin in a single glass huge. This only reinforces my assertion that the way to a man's heart is not through his stomach, but in many cases through his liver. Or what remains of it.
* I had a summer cold a few days ago, which I contracted at The Youth Class' last show while smoking a cigar. (Rock, rock on, by the way.) So I did something that I almost wish I had cause to do more often. I put VICKS VAPORUB on my chest. Remember that stuff? And you could also put it in your bath water, too? That was the only way to treat a cold when you were a kid and had them all the damn time. Who knew that a nasal decongestent could make a guy so nostaligic? ...Oh my. I just looked at my jar and saw that it expired in October 1997. Well, it still worked. Thank God not everything expires like milk.
Class starts Monday. You out-of-towners best be calling...
-Andy