2004-09-01
"My Dad actually asked me what 'bling bling' is the other day. I told him it was a panda, and he believed me." -CharLast night, after enjoying appetizers and spirits, my battery died in an Applebee's parking lot in North County. Fortunately, I made it home in time to see the Bush twins make perfect asses of themselves at the GOP convention. Wow. And I thought it couldn't get worse than that one time that Bush shook his bon-bon with Ricky Martin on the Capitol steps. If the GOP wants to effectively reach out to the growing conservative youth population, FOX News should just loop episodes of "Growing Pains" "Family Ties" during down hours at the convention. I have a feeling that Alex P. Keaton still has an inferno burning under those embers of 80's nostalgia.
But I digress.
My car wouldn't start again this morning without a jump. After negotiating a piece of my soul away to God for my car's ensured successful round trip to and from AutoZone, I was told by "Rick" that my battery wouldn't come off. The connector had somehow become welded to the battery and he couldn't get it off.
ANDY: "Do you have any anti-corrosive?"
RICK: "What? Corrosa... who?"
So I came home at 3, already too late for work, and was so pissed off that I had no other choice but to take the rest of the afternoon by the pool. Book in hand, I strolled down and promptly parked myself in one of the lounge chairs. It was only myself, another woman, and the lifeguard today, and I had seated myself rather close to the lifeguard.
As I was chilling out, taking in my remorseful Bukowski, the lifeguard's cell kept ringing. At every ring she seemed perturbed, rising and pacing with each conversation. During one exchange, she was discussing her apprehension at the thought of not being hired for her new job at a restaurant. During another, she begged a coworker to cover her shift at the YWCA later that evening. And even still, there she was, essentially shackled to a lounge chair at my apartment complex's pool for Lord knows how long, urgently trying to piece her day's professional existence together.
And as my comparatively lazy ass reclined there, listening to this girl struggle to sort out her life, I felt like the
world's
biggest
shit.
-Andy