2004-09-15
YESTERDAY:* Woke up an hour and a half early because I COULDN'T BREATHE. Thank you, changing seasons.
* Had no more Tylenol Cold.
So I decided to do laundry. I open the door to my laundry room to discover that
* MY WASHER IS MISSING.
* AS IN, GONE.
* NOPE, NOT THERE ANYMORE. WHERE IT WAS BEFORE. SEVERAL DAYS PRIOR.
Did I fall asleep for eight or nine days? Was the whole ordeal with my old next door neighbor to buy her washer and dryer when she moved out merely a hallucination? Nope! Turns out that she gave the washer to someone else and didn't bother to tell us!
(Oh shit, and now a happy couple has just occupied the computer next to me. They're doing that thing where they put two words together that don't have any business being together to make proper nouns for each other. Examples would be Sugarbear, Sweetiebutt, Cheesetits and Cattlefucker. I hate happy couples that I'm not one half of. This is a library! Take it somewhere else!)
Anyway, Lorraine Ellis - our neighbor of the messy washer and dryer transaction - has now rocketed to the number one spot on my shit list, followed closely by my apartment leasing office, SBC, radical Shi'ite cleric Muqtada al Sadr, Lenny Kravitz, Ted Kennedy, the Geico commercial with the dogs hanging their heads out the car windows, Michael Moore, the happy couple at the computer next to me (go away, Puddinglegs and Bunnycancer!) Satan, the ACLU, Gwen Stefani and Osama bin Laden. I think everything after SBC is a ten way tie for fourth place.
Life has been so rough around the apartment that Leigh, Char and I broke into the "special occasion only" bottle of Makers Mark whisky yesterday. At 1 in the afternoon. Char's excellent analysis of things being so lousy that alcohol was the only option can be found hurr. Way to go, Char. Couldn't have put it better myself.
This weekend will be the apartment's weekend off. Char's BF will be in town and Leigh and I will be out of town.
Weddings make me forget how crappy things can be sometimes anyway. They also give me a great excuse to wear a suit.
-Andy