2004-10-27
Five minutes ago, during a full lunar eclipse, the Red Sox swept the Cardinals in a four game World Series. During the game, a commercial that was a montage of Cardinals Series blunders scored to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" aired. I found it oddly... appropriate.IN CASE ANYONE CARES, MY EXPERT POST-SERIES ANALYSIS:
* Haha to you, Dennis Kane! Walking around last weekend thinking you're all hot shit because you got tickets for game five! Well guess what?! THERE IS NO GAME FIVE!! Now all them tickets are good for is stickin' 'em up your ass! So stick 'em so far up your ass that they come out your fuckin' ears! Ha! HAHA!
* I'm not surprised that we lost to the team that swept four to none after coming back in the ALCS from three to none - a FIRST in Major League baseball. After spending the whole season with the best record in the entire MLB, our attitude was surely, "Well of COURSE we're going to the World Series. That was about as obvious as a pain in the ass when you sit on an upside-down barstool." The Red Sox were all, "WE'RE GOING TO THE SERIES! OH SHIT OH FUCK OH GOD OH CRAP!" Any guess as to which team had that little extra fire under their ass going into game one?
* Red Sox center fielder Johnny Damon looks like Kurt Russell.
* Props to Joe for this observance: The silver lining for St. Louis is that the only shit team left in baseball is the Cubs. Ever think of that, St. Louis fans? Now that the Sox have taken the Series, the Cubs hold the distinction of being the MLB team who's waited the longest to win the Series! And who's waited the second longest? THE WHITE SOX! It's great to have another missle in my arsenal against all those Chicago sports fans who take it as a sign of pride to feel shitty all the time.
* I don't think there was a curse. I just think that the Sox sucked for 86 straight years.
* Despite the Cardinals disappointing loss, it's been a great few weeks to be a St. Louisan. I'm talking civic pride up to my hairline. I'll miss it when I go. I really will.
* Wouldn't it suck to win the World Series, get fifty bottles of champagne sprayed all over you, and then get pulled over driving home? I dunno about you, but that would really sully my euphoria.
Well, now it's football season, which I couldn't give a shit about if I tried. At least there's a hockey lock-out so I don't have to listen to that smartass kid in my advertising class babble about the Blues all night.
Ah well. Spring training will be around soon enough.
-Andy