2005-01-13
I was talking to Rob on the way back from Kinsey (overrated) last night and we broached the subject of our post-collegiate mortality. Essentially, we're entering the beginning of a new chapter in this large print pop-up book that we each laughingly call our life, and it's starting to feel like one of those "choose your own adventure" books. Remember those?"It's true," said Claudia, "We could finish it now, but Lionel Ritchie and the Third Reich are right on our tails! What do you think we should do, Johnny???"
* TO HEAD FOR THE DOOR, TURN TO PAGE 77.
* TO STAY AND HAVE IT OUT WITH LIONEL AND THE NAZIS, TURN TO PAGE 19.
* TO STAY AND FINISH DEVOURING THE BADGER ALIVE WITH CLAUDIA, TURN TO PAGE XXVI.
Our lives can go off in any direction.
* TO START A NEW SCREENPLAY, THEREBY FURTHER STAVING OFF CREATIVE STAGNATION, TURN TO PAGE 62.
* TO LAY AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY IN CLOTHES THAT YOU CAN SMELL FROM ACROSS TOWN, TURN TO PAGE 40.
* TO GET A DAMN JOB, YOU PERSON WITH A WELL-BALANCED DIET OF POVERTY AND SLOTH, TURN TO THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT PAGE.
Incidentally, until the story of my life allows my options to branch out again, I turned to the acknowledgements, and I'd like to thank Kevin for hiring me on as a server at Weber's Front Row Neighborhood Bar and Grill. I finished my first day of training yesterday which included me following another server around as she ping-ponged back and forth from the dining room to the kitchen, monitering her handful of tables with a birdlike eye for detail. I'm not gonna lie to ya, though it was only 20 square feet of space and some salads and bowl of soups, it was overwhelming.
Nonetheless, I'm happy to be back on my feet. More literally speaking, I'm glad to be off the couch. I hope this job pans out and I don't manage to fuck it up in some hapless yet appealing Andy way. Because now that college is over, the page is turned and I'm officially on my way to better and brighter days.
Not that I'm sprinting out of the gate, mind you. Just tonight, my dinner consisted of an entire loaf of french bread with some butter, oregano, garlic salt, pepper, and olive oil.
Baby steps, dude, baby steps.
In other news, HEM will be in St. Louis on February 9th at Off Broadway. If you are over 21 and wish to come with me to hear some truly wonderful music, gimme a call.
-Andy