More like Great Friday!!

2005-03-25

Good Good Friday. I am currently in the middle of a self-imposed hunger strike.

Here's the thing. I've been a pretty lazy Catholic this Lenten season. Aside from the fact that I'm yet to break my cigarette fast (except on Sundays, woo hoo!), I've only been to church once (Ash Wednesday), I'm going to be working a double on Easter Sunday which means no Sunday mass, and I've caught myself eating meat on more than one Friday of abstinence. John Travolta's career in the last ten years is a lot like my relationship to Catholicism: relatively decent in its own right, but lacking the thundering glory of the mid 90's.

So like my chin-endowed friend, I'm trying to make a little spiritual comeback, minus the Scientology moonman stuff. The last Lenten straw came this morning at work. Wally was cooking breakfast. Egg casserole and... biscuits and sausage gravy. I'm not even kidding, if it were between, say, a steamy make out session with "7th Heaven's" Beverley Mitchell or Wally's sausage gravy, I'd honestly give the sausage gravy more than second thought. Way more. If we're talking dilemmas, Sophie's Choice is immediately dwarfed in comparison. Point is, the sausage gravy is delicious. I love Wally's sausage gravy.

Fuck me flat, I'm hungry.

Anyway, sausage gravy on Friday during Lent is a big no no, which I naturally realized as I finished the last bite on my plate. Blew it again. So I told myself that I'm going to really make up for it this time. I'm not going to eat all day. On this day in history, Christ was hung and left to die on a cross by giant spikes driven through His hands and feet and all He asks of us in return is to not partake in Wally's sausage gravy on Friday. That's it. And I was too much of a heretic to give Him that one little token of graciousness. So I figured if Jesus could die for the sins of the world, I could go a full day without eating.

Of all things, I hope Christ wasn't hungry on the cross, too. This is not fun. At this point, were I in His position, I'd be hard-pressed to turn down the reed dipped in wine. But there I go again, armchair-quarterbacking the Passion.

Rob and I are heading out to the casino in a bit. The cocktails are cheap. The fuel light in my stomach has been on for quite some time now. The potential comic hijinx are obvious. But come mud, blood, shit or flood, I will make it till midnight at which point I will attack the Courtesy Diner like a Viking in a zip-neck sweater. Only four more hours to go.

Happy Easter.

-Andy

The past is the past.

Creamy goodness

Important stuphph!

If I were any cooler, this motherfucker would burst into flames.

Drinkin' with LINCOLN! (And DAVID SEDARIS, despite no clever rhyming phrase!)