2005-04-02
How great was today?! Seriously!* Woke up at noon after a night of drinking top shelf liquor like CRAZY with no hangover.
* Watched "Power Rangers: Space Police Squad Delta Somethingorother" on ABC KIDS. (Putties sadly absent, but that's okay. You've gotta grow up sometime.)
* Despite the fact that I hadn't showered in three days (and nobody at work noticed! How cool am I?) and was wearing sweatpants, Char, Leigh and I went to WAFFLE HOUSE for late lunch. Now, if you've hung around me for long enough/vacationed with me anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line, you know that I hold a special, grease-clogged spot in my cold, tiny heart for the House of Waffle. And just last week, I found out that there is a WAFFLE HOUSE a mere two miles from my house, and I never knew it! Worse, it's actually in the same parking lot as the movie theater that I've been regularly attending for FOUR YEARS! If I had only left the parking lot from the west side, I'd have seen the Waffle House! But no! Always the east side of the lot!
So naturally, I was rather irritated with myself for spending almost five years in south county with this Waffle House practically sitting on my face and me being none the wiser. But once I saddled up to the bar, put my six quarters into the juke, and gorged on my waffle, eggs, bacon, grits and toast, all of my anger just washed down with a thick cup of black coffee.
Waffle House, you are my panacea. Every woman I know may be cold and distant, but you are warm and only a mere two miles from my apartment. (LEIGH: "What IS this Waffle House? Brigadoon?")
* On the way to the Waffle House, we passed the world's most elaborate garage sale sign. A dude had photoshopped his grotesquely smiling mug onto the sign that loudly heralded such amenities as "Free Water!" and "Non-Live Music!" and "All the Other Crap That You'd Normally Find at a Garage Sale!" We decided that this man and his sale of garage must be sought out immediately and aggressively. After breakfast, or course.
So turns out this cocksucker wasn't even having a garage sale when we pulled past his house. But despite our initial disappointment, we had caught the fever. Oh yes. We went garage sale-ing.
Plus, on the way to the first garage sale, we saw the following totally sweet objects of interest:
* A beer keg mailbox.
* A solid gold hearse in front of Grant's Farm.
* At a garage sale in a ritzy neighborhood, a woman offered us a free denim couch. Also, I got six magnum wine glasses for five bucks and...
...wait for it, now...
...
...John Travolta, "The Collection." And if you think by "collection" I mean "movies," then you, my friend, are "WRONG." Two CDs. 21 hits. The best goddamn fifty cents I've ever spent. If you don't like the music of John Travolta, I don't like you.
* That set the tone for the rest of the eye-blue afternoon: windows down, smoking cigs, idling through the spring-struck neighborhood of Webster Groves listening to Travolta and looking for cheap shit, including t-shirts, beer stein shotglasses, and Candyland.
It was the perfect Saturday afternoon.
Then John Paul II died.
-Andy