2005-04-06
The sun is shining, the birds are singing, those shit-smelling trees with the white flowers are in full bloom and making me puke out my window everytime I drive through the Loop... why... spring is here, fuckers!And just as you happily start to settle into the groove of the changing seasons, you're reminded that with spring comes tax season, a buzzkill akin to a guy with an afro sitting right in front of you in a movie theater.
Exhibit A: Ryan Louis.
ANDY: Tax season blows.
RYAN: Yup! My state was set to give me $750 back. Then it asked me this question: "Are you a fulltime resident of the city of New York?" [Check box.] Thank you, you now have a return of $145. I hate my life.
ANDY: Agh! Fuck that!
RYAN: Plus, it cost me 30 bucks to file online, and I threw away my rebate offer! Without even knowing it! And I ended up donating a bunch of my return because I owed federal 60 bucks. So... in the end... my return is..... [drum roll] $10.
ANDY: What'd you spend it on???
RYAN: Guess. Two guesses.
ANDY: Hmm. Booze and cigarettes?
RYAN: Porn...... and..... CANDY!!!
ANDY: YES! YES YES YES!!!
For a furthur explanation and illustration of our exasperation, czech out this e-card that Ryan's dad sent him. It very subtly consolidates the breadth of our ramblings into about thirty seconds of awesome. Make sure you read the message at the end, too.
Dammit, here I go avoiding responsibility again!
-Andy